I've had it up to here with my DT!
Won't you help me lose my DT (lose my DT)
I want to return home as a real man
(Can I help?)
The treasure I've kept my whole life is too saddening to bear (saddening to bear)
I've long since hoped to give it up to you
Since I crossed worlds and met you, we've hardly been apart
I dream every night, but not always soundly
I toss and turn as my Hyperion bursts into flames
How can I cool my fevered aura?
The closer we become, and the further we clash,
the more my Alma Gear rises for battle
Won't you help me lose my DT (lose my DT)
My right hand has served me faithfully, but now we must part (Farewell!)
It is decided; we shall no longer be apart (no longer be apart)
I won't let you go until our score is settled
(Tonight's the night!)
I will fight to lose what is mine
Pet, who was never even given a proper name, has traveled with Kon and company for three months.
What will happen to it as part of today's surprising devel— Wait a minute, what the heck is that?
I don't care what you have to say! That's too expensive!
Too expensive?
First, you want to bring your horse carriage, now this?
We're pretty much full.
If you don't got the gold, then scram.
I guess I will!
Damn it.
Trying to take advantage of us, huh? Nobody's stupid enough to pay that!
What's your problem?
Do you have to be so cheap?
You should've just rented the whole ship.
It's fine if I decide we need to spend that much money.
It's not fine if the other side decides to try and take us for suckers.
I see.
So what are we going to do?
Do you want to try another place?
Can you stop doing that?
What's wrong?
Getting excited?
No!
Oh my, oh my!
What if we went by land?
Huh?
I was wondering what it would be like if we went by land.
Well,
it would, of course, involve a large detour.
The journey would cost us an extra ten days.
I want to go to Nanripat.
I hear they have special fried sweets!
What are we waiting for?
I might even find a way to return to my world.
Oh, right...
Those sweets are supposed to be really good.
How 'bout it, guys?
It's just another week or so, right?
I suppose our journey has gone quite smoothly so far.
What, you don't know the tale of the tortoise and the hare?
You can't be overconfident and let your guard down.
Nobody's following us anymore, so why not?
I guess we could do something to lift our spirits before we reach the capital.
Why are you trying to convince me?
Are you just itching to get to that famous game center in the capital?
Is that why you're in such a rush, Kon?
Oh, I see!
You mean the place where you play with your life on the line?
Yeah, no, I don't think so!
Fuck yeah, detour!
It'll be our field trip before hitting the capital.
That means we'll need to prepare for the trip.
We're running low on food and water.
Shall we look around at the market?
Hey, squirrel-thing!
Don't worry.
He'll be back.
You sure?
Is he smart enough?
About as smart as you.
He probably had to go do his business.
Then I'm going too.
Let's meet here in one hour.
Don't be late!
Roger!
Aw, shit.
I can't find a single one.
Where are the toilets?
You can't expect me to use a hole in the ground!
No stalls, either.
You people sure are open.
I can't do my business like that!
The afternoon cabaret's the best!
Excuse me!
No, no, excuse me.
Must be my imagination.
All right, next one!
Let's go, let's go!
Oh, man.
I gotta go so bad I can barely walk.
Somebody...
She's just a kid, ya know?
I'm guessin' bein' so close gave the kid a bit'a cold feet.
I get it, though.
Poor kid.
So anyway, that's why they're makin' a detour.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'll call again.
Don't worry 'bout it!
They can't see through a pro like me.
See ya.
Don't you pull that shit now!
Hey, you!
Geezer!
You were talking just now!
I know damn well what I heard!
Don't you deny it!
You understand every word that's coming outta my mouth!
H-Hey...
You played with ants when you were a kid, right?
I sure did.
First, I'd get naked.
Then, I'd let the ants creep and crawl all over my naked body.
Yeah, nobody does that.
I'm thinking more like pouring water into an anthill to drown them all.
Huh?
Just my imagination.
Just our imagination.
All right, I'm sorry!
It was your fault for shakin' me like a rag doll!
I can still smell it.
The hell you can!
My Alma Ener—
What did you say?
Nothing at all.
You seriously want me to buy that?
Hey buddy, say it, don't spray it!
You're one to talk!
Oh, I'm the one to talk, huh?
You're not sorry.
Not at all.
Want me to turn you inside out again?
Kid, yer gettin' on m'bad side.
Your stuffing is totally some old coot!
Learn to respect people older than ya!
You ain't people!
I'm kinda like a human, so that's close enough!
Got it, idiot?!
So you're human?
If you're human, why don't you tell me what you're up to?
Who were you talking to?
What's the big idea?
Punk, I ain't tellin' ya shit!
Well then, pops.
If you think that's all I got, you got another thing coming.
You ain't seen nothing yet!
Oh, I ain't seen nothing, have I?
Well then, 'scuse me!
Please don't hurt me, retard!
Ta-da!
It's torture time!
Water attack!
Say no to animal abuse!
I'm an endangered species!
Oh dear.
What I'm abusing here isn't an animal at all!
Whip! Whip! Whip!
Wax!
Wooden horse!
Ball gag!
H-Hold it right there!
That ain't torture no more!
Some folks get off on that kinda stuff!
Oh no, it's waking up!
I can feel it in me!
This slumbering, slippery thing inside me is awakening!
I'll talk!
I'll talk, so don't sto—
I mean, please stop!
Ya better take responsibility for what ya did to me.
I better what?
You brought that on yourself.
I'll never be the same.
Stuff it and fess up already!
Ya won't be shocked by what I have to say?
You mean beyond the fact that you can talk at all?
Ya won't get mad, right?
Too late.
To be honest...
To women, I'm an everyday item.
To men, I'm an accessory.
An accessory?
You mean like a decoration?
Nah, not quite.
Lemme put it like this, kay?
If ya can't manage yer company's finances,
yer gonna end up high and dry.
Huh? You a financial advisor now?
You got it all wrong!
Think about it!
I'll tell ya again.
They're pretty much the same, see,
but write it one way, and ya can touch it.
Write it another way, and yer not allowed.
That's what I'm sayin'.
Write what which way?
What is this, a riddle?
Bingo! You win!
When did this become a game show?
For a man, you're an accessory.
Management.
First, breasts or boobies?
Then, bankruptcy.
And then papa or dad.
Is that it?
We have a winner!
Damn, I'm so awesome!
First prize, no questions asked!
Seriously?!
Wait a second.
Breasts? Bankruptcy? Papa?
That's it!
Kon, I am your father!
What language are ya—
What language was that s'posed ta be?!
Wait, what language are we speaking now?
Thinking about it makes me want to throw up!
That's what got you?!
Here I thought I had calmed you down.
But they say children never can understand a parent's heart.
Liar!
What?!
F-Father?!
You're so slow!
Father, my ass!
You're a totally different species.
We're even further than a human and a monkey.
You've got hair all over your body! I've only got hair on top of my head.
And a little on my crotch.
A small detail.
No, it's not!
Do you get it now?
This is not my true form.
Then what was that little fourth-dimension pocket you had before?
What was that for?
The body, ya know, is the servant of the mind.
I can close m'eyes while ya tell me yer gonna burn me with a poker.
Even if ya use ice instead, I'll get burned.
That's why I have my pocket.
By having that kind of extra step involved,
things make sense to the mind,
and everything works more smoothly.
It's all gibberish to me.
It's like screaming out a move's name.
It's partly to focus yourself,
but it's also for bringing to life the device's voice recognition.
Enough!
What I want to know is: why are you my father?
Call me Papa, if you like.
This little squirrel-thing is really pissing me off.
I just feel like punching it.
Why is my son so scary?
I know this isn't easy to believe.
If I butt in, I lose, huh?
That's m'boy!
The day you were born,
your mother and I were so happy!
What's that?
Some wizards have come to bless m'boy?
That's wonderful!
Invite them in already!
All right, everyone, eat and drink to your heart's content!
Hey!
Why are y'all shutting me out?
I'll curse ya!
I'll curse ya with every fiber of m'soul!
Die!
W-What have ya done?
Don't panic!
I'll save the day.
Pipiruma sperma!
There will be a couple things that need changing, but at least he won't die!
And after a couple things, I turned into what you see today.
What I see today?
The only difference is that you don't have a crown on!
That right?
I think this joke is getting old.
What?!
You reduce my heartfelt explanation into a mere farce?
Now hang on here.
What are those things, anyway?
Your story doesn't add up!
Fine, I'll tell you more about those things, okay?
You're so impatient.
Oh, no!
My ball fell into the pond!
Won't ya be m'pal?
I'll bring yer ball back if ya say 'kay.
Really?
Ya said yer gonna be m'pal, right?
Won't ya be m'pal?
And if things go well, we could become more...
No!
I know what's going to happen.
Really?
They kiss and the ugly frog turns into a handsome prince.
They live happily ever after.
Or not.
Actually the princess snaps,
and splatters the frog against the wall.
Am I right or am I right?
And as the frog dies, he turns into a prince.
Maybe that's absurd or unreasonable, but whatever, right?
Fairy tales usually are.
W-W-W-W-Wait!
No!
No way, man!
That doesn't count!
What doesn't count?
I made a mistake!
It's just that I've been waitin' fer so long, my memory's gotten a bit fuzzy, see?
That's the understatement of the year.
N-N-N-N-No!
Hear me out.
Ya don't know how long I've been waitin' fer ya.
Ya got no idea how I've craned m'neck searchin' fer ya.
That reminds me, how many years ago was that?
Yes, when the earth was still but a wee infant!
If you start your story back before creation itself,
I swear I will turn you into a squashed tomato.
Eek!
"Eek," my ass!
Fine, I'll just tell you.
Truth is, yer the chosen one,
and I'm just here to act as yer guide.
That's it.
Where's the rest of your story?!
You told me to hurry up!
There's a limit to how much you can hack off!
Wait, so that father bit was useless!
Huh?
I guess, yeah.
Nah, just my imagination.
I see.
I understand.
Right?
Pretty crazy, huh?
I didn't realize how serious your condition had become.
Totally!
What?
Me?!
Marian.
Princess.
Kon's homesickness has reached a critical point.
Since we got those sweets,
we need to reach the capital as soon as possible!
Yes, I concur—runch, crunch.
At the mom—unch, munch,
getting to the capital might be the only thing keeping Kon livin—om, nom.
His only goal, so to speak—runch.
Why are you two talking like that?
You sound like weirdos.
Is that what you think—runch?
Enough with the munching.
No, what I want to say is...
You!
Stop pretending to be an animal!
Calm down, Kon.
What, you don't believe me?
Of course we do.
All life is precious.
That's not what I mean!
It's this fucker right here!
You'll all laugh about this later!
You're gonna sit here making fun of yourselves for not catching it sooner!
That's what I'm talking about!
You know, this guy's been suspicious since day one!
He's making this face 'cause he knows exactly what's going on!
How is he suspicious?
He's normal.
It's because he's so normal that he's suspicious!
Munch, munch.
The times we live in are so sad.
Children, full of doubt, without the strength to believe.
Sooner or later, that weak heart will move towards escaping reality.
Can you get off your soapbox please?
Look at him!
He just held his stomach!
Look, he struck a pose!
Y-You...
Kon...
Fine.
I won't talk about it anymore.
I won't talk about how he's this dancing, singing old-timer.
I'll never talk about it again!
That's good.
If you keep telling the same joke, it stops being funny.
Yeah, you're right.
This is a lovable, cuddly squirrel-thingie.
What do you think?
Wouldn't it be so cute if he had little squirrel-thing babies?
Babies, huh?
I bet they would be really cute.
That's what I'm saying!
I mean, look at how cute he is already!
And if he had babies, they would be even cuter.
Yeah, let's make babies!
Mating a-go-go!
All right, who should the mate be?
What the hell are ya tryin'a pull?
I'm into hot neighborhood MILFs!
Wow, look at how happy he is! He can barely contain himself!
Oh, what about them?
You retarded?
Yeah, they'd squish you.
What about over there?
Wow, a cat!
We're just a bit different, aren't we?
I only tap hairless chicks!
I see.
Well, I just had a telepathic conversation with Mr. Pet here
and he has informed me that he prefers hairless, older women.
You don't say!
Per your request.
What do you think?
It looks like what we call a naked mole rat back home.
She's so ugly, she's cute.
What's more, this rat comes from a royal line.
If you got married, you'd instantly become a king!
Long live the King!
Gross!
That thing's gross!
It's writhing or something!
Well, now we have a problem.
It looks like Mr. Pet did not care for his chosen companion.
I don't think you need to force him to breed against his will.
You would be quite right.
But what do you think he becomes if he keeps pathetically running through heat with no action?
Please pick from the following choices.
1. A wizard.
2. Sick.
3. An idiot.
Is it two?
You got it!
Exactly!
Since he's in his mating season, that means he's not quite himself.
Naturally, it puts a strain on the body.
And once they're in heat, if it's all
And once they're in heat, if it's all useless,
And once they're in heat, if it's all useless, useless,
And once they're in heat, if it's all useless, useless, useless,
that's just torture!
When that happens, they can easily get sick.
Kon, why do you know so much about mating seasons?
Please do not underestimate me!
I am in my adolescence.
I am a teen!
In the dictionary you will find those words underlined in red.
I am ready to burst, from here, from there!
Ready to burst, you say?
This is where neutering comes into play.
Pet is part of your family.
To raise his quality of life,
and to prolong his life as long as possible,
we need to do a little snip, snip.
Since we've let this go on long enough,
I, Hokaze Kon, unworthy as I am, will complete the operation in one swoop.
Worry not.
It is always the doctors without licenses that are truly skilled.
Hold still, for it will be over in a moment.
It won't hurt one bit.
Don't use Alma Gear for something like that!
No, we must use what we have on hand.
Besides, you're just a manifestation of energy.
We're not talking about the same thing!
Oh, I don't think so.
I'm just going to change your design one tiny bit.
No, ya idiot!
If ya do that, yer gonna fundamentally change th'story!
Here I go!
So basically, Pet has been talking this whole time.
Dear Princess, whatever are you talking about?
Just like how my cute little sister does not exist,
neither do any cute talking animals.
But cute animals that need to be neutered do.
Stop!
Gosh, he's so cute.
I wonder what he's saying.
If only we could understand him, but we can't.
Oh, what a shame!
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Wait!
He's not talking.
Not a single word.
Must be my imagination.
Your balls are mine!
Balls?!
No!
Neutering, go!
Wait!
It's choppin' time!
Just my imagination.
It must be my imagination.
Just calm down and let me cut your balls off!
No, I can talk!
It's all my imagination!
No, I'm really talking!
My imagination sure is active today!
No, no!
I'm just hearing things!
No, you're not!
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Grab his precious balls!
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Love and dreams aren't so important!
Give me some balls!
Will you be remembered if you're not unusual?
Why don't you understand? Buried and hidden
I'm tired of the things I always see
There's no one else, no theory, no guidance
(We're all having a ball!)
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Be yourself and break through their lines!
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Being safe is boring
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Grab his precious balls!
Let's go, ED! Go, go, go, go!
Nobody cares about your dreams and love and offspring once you're dead!
Yeeeeaaaahhh! (cough, cough)
Let's go, ED!
Next Time
We've finally arrived .at the capital of St. Piria.
Just when I start to think I'll actually be able to go back to my world,
we're told to go to .the tower in the west.
What is this, an RPG?
Hang on now,
who are these guys secretly moving around in the imperial capital?
The tranquility in St. Piria is about to be disturbed, as several anti-empire forces have been lurking underground.
What's more, Lord Nabokov Jugglaburk finally makes his appearance after having been in the OP all this time.